I have three men on the go but can't choose – am I having a midlife crisis?
DEAR DEIDRE: I AM in love with three men and have sex with all of them. I just don’t know who to choose.
I am a woman of 38 and have always got on well with men but have never married.
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The first man has lived with me for ten years. He is 41 and these days constantly brings me down.
He criticises my cooking, how I dress and the house — which I own. Sex is not great as he has a small manhood, although he finds other ways to pleasure me. I don’t want to bruise his ego, though, and I do love him a lot in spite of everything.
The second man is a colleague at the IT company I work for.
We were on the same project two summers ago when he kissed me and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
He is very affectionate and says I’m the only woman in the world who satisfies him sexually.
UP to 50 per cent of women suffer from loss of sex drive but simple changes can make all the difference.
My-e-leaflet Reviving A Woman’s Sex Drive explains practical self-help.
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We both work a long way from home so we are confident we won’t be seen, but he is married with two children. He’s 41. The third man is a businessman of 36. He is rich and good-looking, and we got together when I did some work for his company.
We met in a hotel late last year to talk through what he needed and after a few drinks, he booked a room for us.
The sex is crazily good. He is loving and checks in on me every day with texts and sometimes calls. He makes me feel young.
When he’s in town we spend hours in bed. He knows I’m in a relationship with the first guy but he has no issues with that. He showers me with gifts and makes me feel special. I don’t think I’m the only woman in his life but I don’t dare ask him outright.
I don’t want to lose any of these men but I know I can’t go on like this. Am I having a midlife crisis?
DEIDRE SAYS: Labels don’t matter, choices do, and at the moment you are putting yourself and your partners at risk of transmitting Covid.
You loved your original partner enough to have him move in with you so focus on that relationship first and go for make or break.
Be clear that he has to be more considerate and loving towards you if your relationship is to survive. My e-leaflet, Improving Sexual Sensation, can help your sex life.
If he makes a serious effort, stop seeing your other lovers before it’s too late. If he won’t change, break up with him – but that doesn’t mean the other men are right for you either.
The affair with the colleague may be sex-filled but do you want to be known in your workplace as a marriage wrecker?
The third guy wants a no-strings, sex-only relationship. Not one to rely on. Maybe you need to look for Man Number Four . . .
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