I’m a professional sex toy tester – I’ve had orgasms on the train and my MUM loves my cast-offs – The Sun

TO her fellow commuters Karleen Howden, 35, looks the very picture of respectability travelling into London for her office job. 

But what they don’t know is she is hiding a sexy secret. 

Because Karleen, from Bexley, Greater London, is a sex toy tester for Ann Summers – trying out their range and giving feedback. 

And on that train she had love balls tucked in her most intimate area.

Her man Desi Marjolin, 45, meanwhile, is using a remote control to turn them up – much to her hilarity. 

Speaking exclusively to Fabulous Digital, Karleen gives an insight into her life…

When I tell people my job is a sex toy tester, they are always shocked.

But it’s not like I sneak off to the loos at work to try them! I work in a professional office and that would be bonkers…. it is strictly at home, after hours. 

I started testing toys for Ann Summers in 2014 after previously working for a competitor who wasn’t doing that great when the recession hit. 

Around that time people didn’t have the money to splurge on sexy goodies, it was really stressful and I wanted a break from it. 

I love working for Ann Summers and when they suggested I test toys, I jumped at the chance.

After all you can’t honestly sell things and know that they are decent if you’ve not tried them yourself. 

I’m happy to give genuine, honest feedback. If something isn’t good – not satisfying, too slow, too fast or drains the battery too quickly – I’ll say so. 

At the moment we’re focused on the spring/summer 2020 range.

Colour and texture is huge at the moment. What feels good? What looks good? Shape is so important too. 

Over the past few years we’ve started to look increasingly at sustainability. We’re trying to cut down on packaging; we don’t want to overuse plastic.

Sex isn’t a taboo anymore and pleasuring yourself is important – I love that. 

All my friends are really curious about my job and ask, ‘what’s the best toy?’

I am always happy to help – after all I am an expert.

I get asked loads of different questions: ‘What do you need if you want clitoral stimulation? What’s best for your G-spot? What’s a fab couple’s toy?’

People want to know if they are using toys right too. 

That’s where I encourage people to read the instructions to get the best experience with their toy.

I can’t emphasise this enough – you will find out so much!

I’ve not injured myself but I am an expert and very experienced. And I know when my body is tired and needs a break. 

I know one woman used a wand vibrator, which is intended for clitoral stimulation, inside her vagina. 

She got a shock and it stung for days.

No one has ever expressed any jealousy about my job, although I think some people believe I spend all day orgasming.

I try and push my body to the limit and come about three times in one session.

You have to be in the right mindset when trying the toys and, like all girls, especially when I am on my period, I get really tired.

Sometimes I just don’t want to test the toy. And that’s alright! 

I have a full time job and am in a relationship… I don’t always want to come. Sometimes I want to sit on the sofa and watch telly.

My boyfriend Desi and I do test toys together but not all the time. It’s important not to get too dependent on them.

We don’t rely on sex toys to have a great sex life. Sex toys can be used to spice things up in the bedroom, or to give yourself some self love.


Saying that, there was one occasion where I tried a Fusion Remote Control Egg on the train into London which he was controlling with a remote.

As he turned it up to its highest level, I was in hysterics. 

Luckily, no one realised.

On average I try one new toy a week and test it for longevity, compactness, effectiveness and more. 

I try and push my body to the limit and come about three times in one session. 

So when I come I won’t stop – I’ll come again and again. 

I’ve got four sisters and I will give advice to them too. My mum, Elaine, benefits from my job too. 

Karleen's buzzing advice

The vibrator virgin should try a clitoral vibrator. This is a good way to introduce yourself into the world of sex toys.  

Other people might want to experience different things, it’s a personal choice and there will be something for everyone!

Make sure you ALWAYS have batteries spare or make sure they are fully charged…there is nothing worse than running out mid-session.

My fave toy for clitorial stimulation is the Zumio. The power that is packed into it is immense. 

Otherwise I love The Moregasm Boost Rampant Rabbit… it has just come on so much from your classic ‘rabbit’ vibrator. 

I gave her kegel balls – to strengthen vaginal and pelvic floor muscles – and she loved them.

Luckily she is very open-minded and is proud of my job.

She was open about sex when I was growing up which I am pleased about. I think people should focus on pleasure. There’s nothing to be ashamed about enjoying yourself. 

You’d think I’d have sex toys littered about my home, but it is not the case.

On the contrary I have one box which I refresh regularly, for variety. 

I simply haven’t got the space to keep everything I try and so recycle what I have used.

Ann Summers has a recycling policy where you can take your toys back to store and they will dispose of them for you so I just dispose of mine this way.  

Some people might think I have a dream job… and it is pretty o-mazing. 

Read how one woman went on a sex cleanse and had 30 orgasms after two hours of masturbation ‘homework’ – and it saved my marriage.

And one woman claimed she BROKE her vagina after becoming addicted to her vibrator.

You CAN climax in your sleep and 7 other types of orgasm – plus tips to enjoy them all.

 

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