I'm worried my boyfriend's manipulative ex is trying to win him back

DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend’s ex is sniffing around him and it’s making me paranoid.

He’s 33, I’m 28 and I’ve been with him for two years. He’s kind, funny and I can’t imagine living without him.


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Before we met, he lived with this woman, who’s now 31. He told me they argued all the time and she was toxic.

Lately she’s been back on the scene, wanting to talk and meet. She even put up old pictures of them together on her social media.

He reassured me she’s in the past and it’s me he wants. But I’m not sure I can trust him.

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He’s often secretive with his phone, which makes me think he must be messaging her. Maybe he wants her back.

I know she can be manipulative and I am scared she’ll make him fall in love with her again.

DEIDRE SAYS: Perhaps he is being secretive, not because he is doing anything wrong but because he is worried you will get jealous of any contact with her.

Transparency is vital in a relationship, though. Explain that in order to build up the trust between you, he needs to be more open.

Ask him to be honest if he is talking to her. Tell him the secrecy is making you have doubts.

My support pack about Looking After Your Relationship will help you deal with this.

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