Ashley Cain's girlfriend Safiyya 'doesn't want to wake up' and 'feels like she's drowning' after baby Azaylia's death

ASHLEY Cain's girlfriend Safiyya Vorajee has heartbreakingly revealed how she "feels like she's drowning" grieving for her daughter Azaylia.

The grieving mother took to her Instagram Story in the early hours of Thursday and remembered her baby girl, who passed away in April following a battle with a rare form of Leukemia.

Writing to fans of her heartbreak, Safiyya began: "I've never felt my heart ache like this or even experience not wanting to wake up from my sleep."

Adding that she just "wants to be with Azaylia", the grieving mum detailed how every moment felt "challenging" as she misses her daughter "so much".

"My day has felt challenging & although I try so hard to do things each day inside I'm drowning," she continued.

"My hero taught me to keep going no matter how difficult the day may be, and that's what I do, I longed today to be pushing your pram around the park but I have you as my guardian Angel & tightly hold you in my heart."

Revealing she is currently suffering from a "cocktail of anxiety, depression and grief", she vowed to "fight it the same way" Azaylia fought her illness.

Struggling to sleep, the mum-of-one spoke to her camera from bed at quarter to three in the morning of how she "felt" for her daughter.

"I'm just literally thinking about everything that Azalyia went through and I never ever feel sorry for myself," she told her following.

"I kind of always feel for her, such a beautiful little girl and she fought so hard. Honestly," she added, sighing loudly and rubbing her eyes.

As the clip cut out, Safiyya finished her thought process by writing across the video: "Sometimes there's no words that amount to how I feel sometimes I feel numb & speechless".

Her latest post comes a day after Safiyya sang to her late baby daughter Azaylia on a visit to her grave.

The parents sadly lost their baby daughter aged eight months following a battle with cancer in April.

Safiyya said her life is feeling purposeless without her daughter, though she is looking forward to helping people with a charity set up in her name.

Speaking from the grave of Azaylia, the brave mum said: "I'm going to stand here and sing her songs to her. Doobie do, I want to be like you-oo-oo.

"What else do we sing to you Azaylia? If you're happy and you know it clap your hands. She's so precious. I love her so, so much. My heart aches all the time when I leave from here."

She also explained how she's been feeling, saying: "Here I am another day existing. That's what I kind of call it at the moment. I feel like I'm just existing in the world.

"I don't really feel like I've got much purpose at the moment. I've just got presence here in Earth.

"But I've got myself to the gym, popped into town, and I've just come down to my little baby. Can't find peace in my day and can't relax until I'm here with her.

"Even if I'm just sitting here. Just… don't really know at the moment. Don't know why I did a Story, haven't got a lot to say. Feeling very, very non. I miss my little girl.

"I feel like when Azaylia's charity is ready and up and running, I feel like my purpose will come back. Being able to help all those children and all those families suffering the same way we did.

"It will be so amazing to try and help and create so much awareness – a lot more than we've already done. Keeping Azaylia's name alive and keeping the charity going is just going to be such an incredible thing to help. I actually can't wait to help and give back.

"The love and support we've had on this journey has been amazing. To be able to give that back, is going to feel incredible.

"I'm so, so proud of Azaylia for all of this that she's created. She's brought so many people together, she's spread so much awareness, and she's done it so gracefully and beautifully. She's so precious."

Ashley and Safiyya managed to raise £1.6million through donations from generous fans in order to pay for treatment for her leukaemia.

They plan to use the fundraising cash – most of which was raised in 24 hours – on helping others through charity work, as well as giving Azaylia the "magical" send-off she deserves.

In her short life, eight-month-old Azaylia touched millions across the world throughout her battle with an aggressive form of leukaemia.

There were global landmark tributes, millions raised by generous fans and celebrity supporters who backed the family throughout.

Niagara Falls, the Blackpool Tower and Toronto’s CN Tower all turned orange for Azaylia as a sign of strength and unity in the family's darkest hours.

"Let's go champ" became a phrase used by all to encourage Azaylia's courageous fight to carry on.

Announcing her death, Ashley wrote in a heartbreaking social media post: "Rest in paradise princess. I will always hold you in my heart until I can hold you again in heaven."

    Source: Read Full Article